So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
