It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
