Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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