Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
