dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
