He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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