: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize