Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize