Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
