I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
