it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
