Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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