Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
