so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
