why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
