i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
