She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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