i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
