Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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