even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
