On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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