Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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