I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
