Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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