Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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