Can i not drive my cunt home
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
