Cold hands, warm shart.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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