Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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