im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
