EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
