remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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