Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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