i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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