i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
