sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
