who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
