so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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