We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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