I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
