Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There r osticjed everywhere
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
