I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
