Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
