Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
