How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
