Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
