Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize