I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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