I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
