what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
