if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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