I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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