btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
