I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
