have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she looked like the before picture.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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