his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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