now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my being single is dangerous.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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