I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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