Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
