I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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