i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
