If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
