Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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