i think i have herpe
just one?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
