dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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