I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
