Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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